Archive for October, 2007


Yes, it was a joke

October 16, 2007

Eric Cartman wearing his Libertarians for Paul helmet We thought it was painfully obvious, with the hammer and sickle in Lady Liberty’s hand, and with a post that said the word “taint” a few dozen times, that this was a satirical blog. But we hear that some people were actually taking it seriously. If you’re one of those people who took this site seriously, go buy a helmet. You’re too retarded to be walking around without one.

No, we’re not Kucinich supporters. We’re Libertarian Party activists who are extremely loyal to our Party. In fact, the purpose of this site was to show that the only thing more ridiculous than Libertarians becoming Democrats to vote for Kucinich in the primary is Libertarians becoming Republicans to vote for Paul in the primary. Here’s why.

You know those ridiculous essays we posted about how California needs to build a wall to keep economic migrants from other states from “stealing jobs from real Californians” or about how the Second Amendment applies only to state militias and not to individuals, because the Fourteenth Amendment is “imaginary”? Well, substitute the United States for California, Mexico for Texas, and sodomy laws for gun bans, and you’ve got actual Ron Paul speeches from the House Floor. For example, the actual nutty-fringe speeches on which we based:


are available in their entirity here:

and here

You’ll note that we didn’t have to change too many words.

Our goal was to point out that so-called “Constitutionalist” arguments such as Ron Paul uses to attack immigrants and gays can also be used to attack gun rights and economic freedom. In other words, Constitutionalism does not equal Libertarianism. And it’s time that Libertarians learn this very important lesson. Ron Paul is a conservative Republican, and not a libertarian — at least no more a libertarian than Dennis Kucinich.

So, in short, if you’re a Libertarian who has seriously considered becoming a Republican so you can vote for Ron Paul, then you need a helmet, too.